The All Time All Star Pass Out Band
-or-
(White) Lightning #2,
The End of the World as We Know It

My favorite musicians are the ones who get so whacked out of their brains on booze and dope that they actually pass out onstage. With that spirit in mind, Dr. Boblog herewith presents the All Time All Star Pass Out Band:

LEAD VOCALS: STEVEN TYLER of Aerosmith. RUNNER-UP: JIM MORRISON of the Doors. Tyler's antics are detailed in the previous Dr. Boblog (#7). The late great Morrison, who died in a bathtub from a heroin overdose, was notorious for often retreating to a seat on the drum riser, uncooperative in an alcoholic fog. Incidentally, the photo of Morrison's Paris gravesite which adorns the cover of the Dr. Bob CD "Beer for Breakfast" was taken by my cousin, Roger Howrey, who is also featured in Dr. Boblog #7.

FEMALE BACK-UP VOCALS: AMY WINEHOUSE, JANIS JOPLIN, COURTNEY LOVE. WHITNEY HOUSTON

LEAD GUITAR: JIMI HENDRIX. Although I know of no specific instance where Hendrix actually passed out onstage, he once gave a concert in Denver where he only lasted one-and-a-half songs before announcing to the crowd, "This is what happens when the moon and the sun collide," and abruptly leaving the stage to not return again, causing a near riot among the disappointed crowd. It was apparently one of the many instances where Hendrix had taken too much LSD before performing. Such substance abuse - he was also notorious for being able to snort powders directly into his nostrils off of a mirror without the use of a straw - led to many shows where he was unable to keep his guitar in tune. (Listen to the brilliant "Star - Spangled Banner" on the "Woodstock" album which leads into a painfully dissonant "Purple Haze" brought on by Hendrix's aggressive use of the tremolo bar on his Fender Stratocaster.) Hendrix eventually died in his London apartment, about the same time that Morrison and Joplin ODed, choking in his sleep on his own vomit from a barbiturate overdose.

RHYTHM GUITAR: BRIAN JONES of the Rolling Stones. RUNNER-UPS: RON WOOD and KEITH RICHARDS of the Rolling Stones. One of the founding members of the Stones, Jones was eventually kicked out the band in the late '60s because he was always passed out on the floor of the recording studio during the band's sessions (although he occasionally came out of his stupor long enough to add brilliant touches to some of the group's songs, such as the marimbas on "Under My Thumb"). Wood and Richards excessive partying is discussed extensively in Dr. Boblog #6. Wood recently returned from a lengthy stay at an alcohol and drug rehab facility. Richards was reportedly so drunk onstage during the band's most recent European tour that he was unable to play "Brown Sugar." Shortly thereafter, while on vacation in Bali he fell out of a tree, stoned on something or other, and had to be hospitalized for head injuries.

KEYBOARDS: GOLDY McJOHN of Steppenwolf. RUNNER-UP: SLY STONE of Sly and the Family Stone. For details of McJohn's onstage overdose, see Dr. Boblog #7. Sly Stone was perpetually messed up during the Family Stone's heyday in the late '60s and early '70s. One time he was so out of it that he was not able to pass out onstage at an outdoor show in Chicago's Grant Park only because he couldn't even make to the gig. A large riot ensued, leading to the band having a hard time booking future concerts at virtually every venue in America for years thereafter.

BASS: SID VICIOUS of the Sex Pistols. RUNNER-UP: JOHN ENTWISTLE of the Who. Vicious' brief supernova career with the legendary, ground-breaking punk rock band the Sex Pistols was carried out in a virtual nonstop comatose state before his untimely death from a heroin overdose. While he might have been technically ambulatory during performances, mentally he was never there. Although Entwistle apparently never actually passed out onstage, he deserves inclusion herein by virtue of his death in a Las Vegas hotel room from a cocaine overdose a few years ago on the eve of the first date of a major comeback tour with the Who. (Incidentally, the band replaced him overnight and successfully carried on without him.)

DRUMS: KEITH MOON of the Who. While Entwistle never blacked out onstage, on more than one occasion the late great drummer of the Who did, causing the band to enlist a member of the audience to replace him on drums in order to finish the show.

The only guy to ever pass out onstage in my band was also a drummer, probably the best musician I ever played with, the brilliant but hard partying Christy Carter. Carter was an excellent drummer and an awesome vocalist (he can be heard on the new Dr. Bob CD "Back From the Grave" singing "Lightning #2"- lyrics are reprinted below). His legendary musical exploits are recounted elsewhere in this website (click on "History" / "The Golden Years").

Dr. Bob has always been a good-time party band. No band member has ever embodied that ethic more than Christy Carter. The incident in question occurred at an upscale sweet sixteen birthday party for a local princess at the Elks Club on Park City's Main Street in the early '90s. As we started the gig, I knew that Carter had recently been on a bender. As we kicked off the first song in front of a packed house, I looked back and saw Carter's eyes roll back in his head. He suddenly collapsed, fell backwards off his drum throne, then rolled over and, taking a page out of the Joe Cocker playbook, promptly vomited into a duffel bag I used to carry extra guitar cords in. Dr. Bob bassist Bets Pott and John "Hype Jones" Gonthier helped Carter to his feet and escorted him offstage. To his credit, he quickly regained his composure and was able, in somewhat shaky fashion, to finish the show. But it was an incident that I will never forget, having a distinctly surreal quality to it. Soon thereafter, Carter's partying led to his dismissal from the band.

Carter's onstage pass out was one of many instances where drummers have been a royal pain in my ass. Throughout my career, drummers have been the bane of my existence. Dozens have played in the band (see the Dr. Bob Drummer Honor Roll at the conclusion of this blog).

Drummers are a different breed. They began life as obnoxious five-year-olds who spent their time annoyingly banging on Quaker Oats boxes. They tend to be just as obnoxious later in life when they graduate to a full drum kit.

Part of the problem is that drummers operate solely in the realm of rhythm and are largely unconcerned with the other elements which comprise music (i.e. melody, lyrics, harmonies, arrangements, etc.).

Such singlemindedness has led to drummers being the butt of jokes. My favorite is the old one-liner that goes, "Did you hear about the band that crashed their van last night night? Three musicians and a drummer were injured."

Regardless, drummers are essential to rock'n'roll. A good drummer is like a good lover. When you find one, you want to hang on to them. You might even want to consider marrying them, so to speak. Ultimately, drummers are like women. You can't live with them and you can't live without them. But I will always appreciate all the drummers who have played with Dr. Bob, especially the best ones (Carter, Tracy Nielson, Tony Korologos, Larry Mahlis, Kelly Wallis, Mitch Wolfe, and, on a good day, Greg Friedman.) For a complete list, see the Honor Roll below.

That brings us to the conclusion of the final Dr. Boblog until December 22, 2012. As you may be aware, the Mayan calendar predicts the end of the world December 21 of that year. More and more, I have the sneaking suspicion that the Mayans might be right. So I'm hedging my bets. I'm just going to chill until then. If the world is going to end then it's just too much work to write these blogs to entertain and educate a doomed society, especially when I'm not getting paid.

So, my advice to you is to enjoy the time that's left. And you might want to download the two Dr. Bob songs - "Trustafarian" and "The New Romeo" - which have recently become available on iTunes. Study them intensely. Memorize the lyrics.

It might be your only hope.

As the late great gonzo journalist Dr. Hunter S. Thompson once told me in a drunken tirade, "God's mercy on us all."

God's mercy, indeed.

"Lightning #2"

(From the Dr. Bob CD "Back From the Grave," dedicated to Christy Carter)

Verse I:

I told you 'bout the midnight hour

We rocked around the clock that night

Some of us got flower power

And some of us got out all right

Chorus:

If you find that it ain't too frightening

You know that you can call me lightning

Number two

It's up to you

Verse II:

The magic bus just left us stranded

On that magic carpet ride

Mercy, we felt so abandoned

Coming down from eight miles high

Bridge:

Ain't talking 'bout no midnight rambler

Ain't talking 'bout no blue-eyed hoax

You don't wanna read my fan mail

As the one you always loved the most

Verse III:

A little bit of soul keeps us going

Hungry for those good things in life

But there's no answer when the wind

isn't blowing

Tommy Walker got a ticket to ride

Dr. Bob Honor Roll of Drummers

Scott Arnold

Dean Athens

Jim Clahane

Mark Cole

Bob Evers

Greg Friedman

Rod Granger

Klay Gustin

Kevin Hupp

Tony Korologos

Paul Krell

Larry Mahlis

Guillermo Martin

Tom Martinez

Tracy Nielson

Ronnie Santee

Brian Smith

Mark "Sully" Sullivan

Kelly Wallis

Rick Willey

Mitch Wolfe

Lisa Marie Wood